Growing Resilience Through Life’s Challenges

As much as we think a life of fair-weather moments and events is what’s best for us, it actually is a recipe for stagnation and weakness.  Struggle, diversity, change, frustration, heartache, overcoming hurdles, breakthrough and joy; these are all the things required to create a mentally strong person capable of enduring vast desolate valleys and climbing endless mountains. 

It’s no accident that the underdog who had to struggle and fight for every inch of benefit to their life is also the one who has the best attitude, mindset and outlook on life.  Now there’s the opposite person who is handed everything, coddled, and rescued when they falter, yet they have the most to complain about and feels the most screwed over.  It is very easy to get stuck in our rut of a mindset, that we then carry with us and apply it to everything that comes our way.  People are typically more conditioned one way over the other.  You either have a tendency to see the world/glass as half full or half empty. 

Now both versions of these people have positives and negatives that they will need to work on.  The optimistic person is great at seeing hurdles as movable and temporary.  The challenge is fun to overcome and the result is always going to be of some benefit to them.  Even if it’s just a learning experience.  The optimist can also have a tendency to skip over details and blindly charge forward with a childlike faith that it will all work out as imagined or better.  Taking some time to really plan out all the variables, possible outcomes, and see the red flags will make sure they are not going down a path of self-destruction or unnecessary setback. 

The pessimist tends to see hurdles as a sign of a dead end, a permanent hurdle that is put there to make their life difficult.  They may say things like, “this kind of stuff always happens to me”, “I knew it was too good to be true”, or use it as a reason to stop and wallow in their misfortune.  The pessimist usually is slower to make a decision, and when they do, they usually have thought about all the ways it could go wrong or not be worth the effort.  

As we all know people have a tendency to marry what they are not.  An optimistic person will marry a pessimistic spouse.  When one is ready to make decisions, jump forward and believe it will magically turn out ok, the pessimist is the one to point out all of the things that will probably go wrong or make the decision harder.  When you combine these two together you usually get a more balanced and more thought-out realistic decision. 

No matter which one you are more drawn too, the ability to bounce back is a trait that will make your life feel smoother.  Our mindset, emotional steadiness, and faith in the unknown working out for our best interest is what is required to get the most out of your daily experiences and challenges. 

I would never wish storms upon someone just to help them grow.  But as we all know, when life does throw that storm your way, be intentional in having the right mindset as you go through it. 

Find the silver lining- no matter the hardship, there is always at least one blessing we can count in our life.  Maybe you can’t see the whole picture today or next week, but there will come a time when you see it.  As unique as we all are, there is always someone out there who has been through something very similar if not exactly the same as us.  Finding our support book, person, group, or leaning on God, will help us navigate the storm knowing we are never going through it alone.  What we are going through in our life today will one day be the story that can impact and help someone else, but only if we allow ourselves to grow wiser and stronger from that struggle.  

Limit your time to wallow- depending on your struggle, this may be an hour, a day, or a few weeks.  We all need time to tend to our wounds and feel the suffering.  No matter what it is, eventually you need to brush yourself off, stand up, and take the next step.  Our mental and emotional capacity is only grown when we go through a challenge and come out wiser and stronger in spite of the setback.

So as the next hurdle appears, take a deep breath and push forward.  Use your new skill set to come out the other side victorious and focused on the right things.  The things that you can control and how you can become even greater because of this experience.