Creating Our Eye in the Storm: Turning Chaos Into Calm
The whirlwind feels constant. Before one micro crisis finishes, another comes along beside it. Our attention is pulled in every direction, kids need us to fulfill their daily needs of diapers, meals, helping with schooling, driving to activities, & discipline. The car needs dropped off at the mechanic, the aging dog taken to the vet, sick kids need tending to, and the basement has flooded again so the sinks/toilets can’t be used for half the day. This could be mixed in with the good busy things of hosting a family event, planning a vacation, spending time helping aging parents, fitting in our workout, etc. Most of these are not planned distractions, or if they are, we weren’t as busy when we committed to them in the first place.
No matter how dark the storm or wild the winds blow in our life we can always take a moment to pause. In that brief pause is the eye of the storm. This may not look like the typical eye of the storm in a hurricane, where all the chaos can completely stop for 10-50 minutes. No, our eye of the storm still has swirling winds around us, kids arguing upstairs, dinner boiling over on the stove, and the phone is ringing with that call we’ve been waiting for. Even with all of these winds swirling around us, we can take a moment. This moment can be a deep breath while we stare out the window, a quick prayer, a 1-minute cry in the bathroom, throwing our hands up in the air as we laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
There is very little in our life that can’t be paused for a few minutes while we breathe. Having someone in our corner such as a spouse, parent, friend, or coworker, who can give us a hug and say “I’ve got this” while we take a 5-minute breather, sometimes is all we need to reset and get our second wind.
Redirect & Reset- Emotions are a very real part of our human experience. They tell us the obvious and hidden things about a situation or relationship that our brain hasn’t fully processed into words yet. As we are experiencing the storms in our life these emotions are very strong. Worry, frustration, rejection, anger, confusion, sadness, resentment, hopelessness, uncertainty, as well as anticipation, excitement, optimism, and inspiration all bring stresses with it.
No matter what emotion is overwhelming us at the moment, we can choose to redirect it and reset it. This means, when we are feeling frustrated with the basement flooding and no toilet or sinks being available to use, we can redirect it to being a problem solver on how we are going to spend the day in a “dry cabin.” When we feel irritated at the mechanic for over charging us for the car repair, we can redirect it to thankfulness that we have a vehicle to our name that makes our life much easier more often than it does harder.
If we stop looking for ways this situation is going to help us forge into a tougher, braver, more resilient person, we fall into the trap of feeling sorry for ourself. Once that happens, we miss out on growing our capacity and coming out more prepared for the next wild windstorm. There is a quote that says “don’t pray for a lighter load, pray for stronger shoulders.” This doesn’t mean we want our days to be chaotic and overwhelming, but it does mean we want to learn from it. It could be we need to say no more often and put less on our calendar, or that we need to stop waiting until the last minute to address things that could have been handled last week. Perhaps we are to learn what patience is, with others and ourselves.
No matter the pile of misfortune or struggle we are going through, there is always someone out there who has it so much harder, and they would trade places with us in a heartbeat. There is always a silver lining in every situation. Even if we can’t see it at the moment, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there waiting to be discovered. Hindsight is 20-20. This idea is very powerful because once some time has passed and emotions have leveled, we now see the intertwining of old closed doors and new ones opened showing us why something happened the way it did. Maybe it was our doing or was something we had no control over. The lesson, perspective, opportunity or growth that could only happen because of the storm is what we can use to change and move forward.
So the next time you are feeling the chaos swirling around you, create your brief eye of the storm. Do something that will create a moment of peace. Find that thing that stops one negative emotion from taking over and turn it into a silver lining. We can never have too much gratitude and the majority of people don’t spend enough time giving thanks for their blessings.
"In the midst of a storm, gratitude is our anchor. It doesn't change the weather, but it changes our ability to hold steady until the sky clears."